This time of year brings out the box turtles, roaming around in search of food and love. And like the fabled chicken, they always want to cross the road. I often stop to help them to the other side, having seen far too many get run over by folks who weren't paying attention. The problem is, sometimes, that the other side of the road is a sheer cliff I doubt the turtle could climb or it's a steep drop off into a rocky stream that could be fatal. So I put the turtle in the car with me and drive till I find what looks like a nice turtle habitat and there put my befuddled passenger out into a nice grassy place with water nearby.
The turtle has generally stayed tight shut as we travel. I set him down in this new place and he slowly lowers his shell and peers suspiciously out.
I imagine him later, hanging out with new turtle friends.
"Well, the way I got here is I was abducted by an alien. Thelma Lou was expecting me and I was already running a little late and just then along come this strange vehicle. It slowed down and then it stopped and hovered right near me."
"What'd ya do, Tee Roy, what'd ya do?"
"Well, I shut up tight, hoping it'd lose interest and move on but then all at oncet something grabbed me by the carapace and swooped me up. It must of been the alien, putting me into its vehicle. I stayed shut as tight as I could, having heard that them aliens are bad to to put probes in a body's orifices-"
"That's gross, Tee Roy! Did they do it?"
"Naw, they didn't do nothing. Unless it was some kindly of a mental probe, scanning my brain to steal all my knowledge. I didn't feel nothing though. The vehicle went along for a few minutes and then I could feel it stopping and could hear the hatch opening. Then the alien got out and carried me a little ways and set me down. And that's how I come to be here. Reckon how long it's going to take me to get back to Thelma Lou's? And reckon if she'll believe this story?"
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