I pulled the plug on my own party

My boys are on Day 4 of their visit to Austin to spend time with their dad.

and I miss them terribly.

Annie misses them too.

She mopes around and doesn't eat as much.

She misses her boys.

When I called the boys this evening, they weren't big on talking.

Neither child likes talking on the phone much, which I understand, because I'm not much of a phone person myself.

But, as I spoke to them, I could hear the pout entering my voice...feel my feelings starting to get hurt.

And I thought to myself, "Rhea, stop it right now."

It's not my boys' fault.

They're having fun with their dad, who they don't see much.

Yes, he gets to be the fun parent, spending six days just doing fun things.

And I'm the one who left their dad and caused all this change.

Nevermind that I think it was for the better, I realized that I needed to grow up and get tough.

So, even though I started the pity party and was ready to wallow...

I managed to man up and move on.

Yes, I miss my boys.

Yes, they're having fun with their dad.

Yes, I'm home, without them, working long days and missing them terribly, but this is how things have to be.

And I'm not going to make them feel guilty for not wanting to talk to me on the phone much...or for having fun with their dad.

Because even though I'm angry with him, he cares about them and wants to spend time with them.

And that's important.

And I want them to be loved.

So, yes, I pulled the plug on my own pity party.

I'm not patting myself on the back  yet, I still have plenty of growing up to do, but for now, it's a start.