The Haitians need a cruise.

By now we all know about the earthquake that hit Haiti.

Thousands are dead...and thousands are without water, food and shelter.

My solution?

Princess Cruise Lines or Carnival needs to donate one of their large ships to motor on down to the Caribbean for all people to use.  That way they are off the island and in a safe place.  They will have water and shelter.  And they're safe from after shocks.

And they have a place to stay until we can rebuild or help secure things again down there.

I like my plan.

It solves lots of problems...albeit slightly unconventially and at a huge cost to the cruise line...

but can you put a price on human life?

I think not.

Are you doing anything to help?

$10 to the American Red Cross?

Money on my Mind

I was stuck in traffic this morning and letting my mind brainstorm...

what do we all see every day that has not been inundated with advertising yet?



MONEY!



It would be kind of cool to advertise on money.

The government could make money...ON money.

I've written a post on foreclosure scams & credit restoration

&

I also wrote a post on Avery Island,
a unique island in Louisiana that's a salt dome and home of Tabasco Sauce.

I've finally one-upped Mary Poppins

The origins of this post started two nights ago, when I woke in the middle of the night with an intense leg cramp.

It HURT.

I hadn't had one in years!!

I find when I'm good about taking vitamins and getting plenty of potassium and fruits, that I don't have leg cramps at all.

Then I remembered my grandmother a sweet lady who-shall-not-be-named, mentioned that older folks suffer leg cramps. And she discovered, through the elderly grape vine, that if you put a bar of soap under your sheets, that they go away. She tried it, and it worked. Now she sleeps with soap in her sheets.

huh.

Then, on the NPR the other day, I heard them talking about leg cramps.
And how a teaspoon of mustard every day keep the leg cramps away.

huh.

A lady called into the show and said it worked for her. She had taken to eating everything in mustard lately. Lots and lots of mustard.

Then I thought...well, shoot, maybe I should try these two things.
But, then, I don't get the leg cramps enough to really tell if it was working or not...

Who knows what else mustard could do if we added it to our diets regularly?
Maybe it could increase night vision in our troops.
I'm sending a few hundred jars to experiment.
I'm sure they won't mind.





Then I found on Wiki that mustard plasters are used in Russia where they think it stimulates the immune system and relieves pain.

Maybe mustard in my hair every night would make it silky smooth with no tangles?
I might try it.

Maybe mustard applied in our nether regions could help people who have trouble getting pregnant, conceive! Think of the thousands they could save in fertility testings and treatment if only they had a jar of mustard?!

Who knows what I could discover!!

But maybe A teaspoon of mustard would help the medicine go down?
In the most delightful way.





What do you think?
How can mustard help you?
Any fun home remedies to share?




***I am not a doctor and should not give out medical advice. Please do not try any of these ideas at home. Ignore me completely, I am a cracked lunatic with no medical training whatsoever.

Dog-Earred Capitalism

I'm in love with Annie's ears.
Annie, my Labrador Retriever.

If I'm feeling stressed.
I pet her.
especially her ears.

They're so soft.
Unbelievably soft.
and silky.

I want to make a blanket out of them.
But that might send PETA after me.

And I'd hate to leave a bunch of ear-less dogs running around.
They'd look like alien dogs.

I thought about clipping Annie's ears off, maybe they'll regrow like a lizard's tail...
I need to carry her ears around in my pocket, like a lucky rabbit's foot.

I mean, where did the rabbit foot tradition start?

I might as well start a new one with dog ears...
But, Annie's particular about her looks, so I don't want to take her ears.

But, I promise, they are the softest thing ever.

If anyone's interested in starting a new avaunt guard business with me...just let me know.

Dogs have the softest ears.

Clearly this kitten agrees with me.