Haiku for Change

Change is dancing near.

I beckon it eagerly.

Take a chance on me.

Silent Contemplation

As the seasons change...and we slip slowly from spring into summer...my desires change as well.

My focus readjusts, my soul feels a yearning for change and growth.

We're all striving towards something, right?

If you could make one wish right now, for something to come true, what would it be?

What are you striving for right now?

My one wish...hmmm....for myself, it would be that I wish I could find the strength and determination to be what I want to be.

I have different wishes for my children and for the entire population and for Earth...

Life is more complicated than a single wish, I think.

Change permeating the air I breath

My husband & I are separating.

Breathe, just breathe.

I don't like confrontation.

But sometimes it's necessary.

But I've been taking stock of my life.
And I'm not happy.

So, I've issued a much-delayed ultimatum to my husband.

The details are not important.

What is important, is that if things don't change, I'm leaving.

I'm not really talking about Legos

Legos, Legos everywhere and not a drop to drink.
(Can you name what literature that's a misquote from?)


My life is full of Legos.
It started out small, just a box or pack of them.

I could handle that.

Then they began to add up.
and add up and add up and add up.

Sometimes they came with direction, a project easily completed. Other times, instructions were lost, organization gone, and it was chaos.




They started out fun. Good busy work.
And then they began to overflow.

They filled the coffee table and spilled onto the floor.
I began stepping on them and finding them in odd places through the entire house.

The Legos multiplied.

In mass they overwhelm me.
I don't have the proper tools to deal with them.
To figure out where they go and what do do.

Recently I finally wised up and bought a storage box. To put all the Legos in.

It's time to organize, prioritize and figure out what goes where.

Do I want to build an amazing tower?
Or a prison for the Webkinz?

I need to take back the control.


What metaphors can you use for your life?

Where's the damn Yellow Brick Road?

What do you see in this ink blot?

I see two hunchbacked monsters without hearts, wrapped in shrouds, trying to yell at each other, like a creepy staring contest with yelling involved.

Is that what you see?
Are you as messed up as I am?

I've shared with you before that I'm starting therapy...
because I'm a mess and my marriage is a mess.
And not the easy kind of mess a Clorax Easy Wipe can soak up in 10 seconds.
Nope, it's a certified, complicated, dog-threw-up-combined-with-honey-and-flour-in-the-carpet kind of mess.

I had a great therapist back in Austin. Joel was my buddy, my confidant, and he knew how to keep it real. But, here north of Dallas I don't have a Joel, so I had to pick a newbie. And the guy I saw last week? I don't think he's the right therapist for me.

He wanted to talk about my childhood. I wanted to talk about my present.
He wanted me to look for the answer in my heart. I wanted to bash him over the head with his.

I don't think therapy should be a guessing game. When I'm ending most of my sentences as a question, that's not a good sign.

He told me to look deep inside me for the answer.
Damn it, if I could have done that, I would have, on my own without paying a fortune to do it in front of an audience.
I can't find the answer to my problems, the miraculous path I need to follow.


Follow the Yellow-Bricked Road.
Follow the Yellow-Bricked Road.
Follow, Follow, Follow, Follow,
Follow the Yellow-Bricked Road.

If only it were that easy!!

I'm screwed up! You're supposed to help fix me...not make me keep looking for non-existent, deep down (around my spleen maybe?) guiding feelings.

It was frustrating. I don't think we were on the same page.

(I think I'm going to regret sharing this much when I wake up Wednesday.)

This isn't your "what I'm thankful for" day-before-Thanksgiving post.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm thankful for a lot of things, but my life is a mess currently, and it's hard to see past that.
I'm not sure how to get back on track.
What I do know is that writing is a lifeline for me.
Blogging the same.



So I'm hanging on by my non-existent fingernails from the edge of a steep cliff staring at the alligators down below and hoping that I can somehow save myself.
I don't want someone else to save me...
but I might need a lifeline thrown...or a phone a friend...


You know, I feel better now, after vomiting my feelings onto the page.
I hope you don't feel worse now.
Sorry.

Thanks for listening.

What did you see in the ink blot?
What's at the end of your yellow-brick road?

Self Pep Talk

Are you Up on Uptake?

Regarding yesterday's photo post, you guys are HILARIOUS!

I love some of the wonderfully creative ideas you came up with regarding that picture.

I wish I had an answer for you with what was going on in it,
but no one in my family seems to have any idea.

My mom has more old photos, so I'll see if I can get another one scanned sometime soon.


* * *


Next, let me announce the contest winner from last week.
(I know, I don't know what took me so long!)



I had planned to do a cute hat drawing video with the kids, but my printer ran out of ink, the kids wouldn't cooperate and I lost my desire to do it.

Long story short, I used that darn random number generator, adding in those of you with the extra entries. It was complicated, probably unnecessarily so!

Without further rambling, the winner of the 11" brand new fry pan and jambalaya mix is...

Scargosun!


And, as a bonus, I'm giving away a packet of jambalaya mix to:

Sassy Stephanie & Kimba!


Winners email me at rhea@tx.rr.com with your addresses.


* * *


Now, as you know, I've been job searching.
And, I've found some free-lance writing jobs and some blogging work,
but nothing full time.

I'm seriously thinking about applying to Target!!
I need something with good health insurance.


One of the places I am blogging part time for is called Uptake.
It's a travel information search engine, and I'm super excited!
I'll be posting about fun things to do and see in Texas...and possibly other places I've visited.

What I would love from you, is to click on over to Uptake and comment on posts with my name. Today...and any time you feel like it!
I don't get much comment love over there yet, and I've gotten spoiled with it over here.
You guys rock!!



I'll leave you with these photos of my pink streaks for now.

Natural lighting,
no photo editing,
no makeup,
crazy angles
weird facial expressions, and
I'm not even sure I brushed my crazy, frizzy hair.

It's Rhea Au natural con rosa!!
(I think I just mixed French & Spanish...and probably not even correctly)

and a plea for comment love at Uptake!!

Thanks!!

Tickled Pink.

Today is the last day of the giveaway!!
Leave a comment on this post if you want a chance to win
a stir fry pan and jambalaya mix.


* * *


So, I talked about what I wanted to do...

and I did it!!

I wanted some pink in my hair.
I decided to start out conservative & just put in pink highlights.

Here are my before pictures:

And then the fun began.
I was nervous.

I had a lot of time to stare into the waiting area...and worry.

Finally the color was in, and then I had to wait a little more...

Here I am with the punk rock look...

And then, ta da!

Let there be PINK.

My hair is still wet in the photos, so it looks a little weird.

I'll have better pictures later on. The lighting is off on these, so it's hard to get an accurate view.

I'll wash my hair and style it and then take some more photos.

Have you ever had wild idea and followed it through?

I'll tell you what I want...

what I really, really want. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna...

Ride in a hot air balloon!!

I see them in the air all the time around north Texas.
The idea scares me a little, but I really would love to try it.
Can you imagine the photos from up high?!


And, as you might have noticed, I have a poll on the top right-hand side.
I've decided to get highlights...colorful ones.
And it looks like pink is winning.

I have blondish hair, so it might look like this:

(none of these pictures are me, of course!)

And then there's this:

That's a more bold, all-pink look.

So what do you think? Which color? All over color or just streaks?

photos curtesy of Aoife Mac & Ontwerpplus from Flickr Creative Commons

Not so scary.

I haven't always handled change well.

If you ask my husband, Texas Homeboy, about the early days of our marriage, he'll verify this. Whenever he decided to move furniture around in our first apartment, I'd freak out. Seriously. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not.

This is the one piece of furniture I've had since I got married.


Change doesn't come easy. It seems to be harder for me to adjust than most people. Or at least I used to feel that way. Now I seem to welcome change...with sweaty palms and shaky hands though, I admit.

When I was eleven years old, we moved to Austin, and it was a tough adjustment for me. The end result was good though. I loved Austin and ended up living there for 19 years.

Getting pregnant and married at nineteen years old was quite a shock to the system and resulted in some big changes. Most good.

Moving from Austin to the Dallas area last year was another huge change, and it's been good.

TODAY, my boys started back to school. After spending almost every minute of the summer together, I'm both happy for them to go back and sad. It's big change this year, because Donny has started middle school.


I didn't get to walk him in.
That's just not cool anymore.
But, I've visited his locker and saw his classrooms at orientation.

Remy started first grade!! He wasn't sure he wanted me to walk him in...

The sun was kind of bright, and he was scrunching up his face for these pictures.

After I cried and threatened to sneak in through the window to take pictures, he relented and let me walk him in. hehe

His teacher seems really nice, and one of his best friends is in his class!

First grade isn't gonna know what hit em!

And now I'm home alone and job searching. I hate job searching. I need to find something that works during their school hours.