BERRY TWIG SONG

I don’t wait in line at restrooms;
I unzip and I just let fly.
That’s why I’m always in the best rooms.
I enjoy being a guy.

I don’t have to eat a salad,
’Cause it’s OK when guys have guts.
I react to a tender ballad
Like a swift kick in the nuts.

I don’t have to go to wedding showers.
I don’t give a crap if garlic gives me gas.
I don’t piss twenty times in seven hours.
I’m perfectly glad to sit and scratch my ass.

I’m grateful for my Equipment;
And for talcum that keeps it dry.
Let the ladies have Tits and Hipment -
I enjoy being a guy!

[Insincere apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein.]