I was brought up Amish...

except without the buggies, the lack of electricity and the whole Amish atmosphere.

Ok, what I meant to say was I was raised without TV.

I mean, we had a TV, but we lived on a ranch and my parents chose not to have it hooked up.
We could rent movies and watch them occasionally.

So, I spent a lot of time playing with my imaginary friends,
tormenting my little sister, The Bug,
and reading books.

We also had animals.
I got to milk cows,
mess with chickens,
name a donkey,
hear pigs neutered,
hear rabbits skinned,
pick apples in our orchard,
swim in a creek,
help plant vegetables,
hunt deer,
fear the dark,
and ride horses.

That's kind of like growing up Amish, right?

Ok, maybe not.