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Sunday, September 30, 2007

CHEEZUS!

The Missus and I trotted over to Fresh Market this afternoon to pick up a few odds and ends for this evening’s supper. The check came to $19.74, prompting me to say, “Hmmm...now that was an interesting year.”

The cashier, in all her Teenage Innocence, asked, “Was that the year you were born?”

Both SWMBO and I looked at her as though she had grown a second head. And SWMBO was quick with a riposte: “No, that’s when he was graduated from college. He looks pretty crappy for someone born in 1974.”

True, dat. Especially since I was unshaven, having rolled out of bed just in time for morning minyan.

Both of us had slept soundly last night - it was the first decent night’s sleep the Missus had had in days, owing to some medication that has, as a side effect, kept her jacked up at night. And in my case, it might have had some extra assistance from the wine.

For last night we had entertained friends for dinner - some of the Usual Suspects, to be sure, but also some other friends of long standing that we don’t see nearly as often as we should. It had been a couple of years since we had spent an evening with Joe and Margaret W-, whom we had first met back in our old Atlanta neighborhood when the kids were mere toddlers.

Joe is the guy who introduced me to the Macallan, for which I am Eternally Grateful. I returned the favor by introducing him to Hendrick’s Gin, “preferred by one out of every 10,000 gin drinkers.”

Dinner consisted of an Insalata Caprese (courtesy of Margaret and Joe), with slices of ripe tomato and buffalo mozzarella garnished with basil leaves and drizzled with balsamic vinegar. The main dish was a Lasagne ai Quattro Formaggio that, aside from having enough Cheesy Goodness to stop a grizzly bear’s heart, served to break in our new oven. [Really, it incorporates five cheeses: Ricotta, Fontina, Gruyère, Gorgonzola, and Parmesan...but who’s counting?] I had never made any sort of lasagna before, lasagna being SWMBO’s province, but I’ve always been perfectly willing to test new recipes out on our unsuspecting dinner guests.

Insalata Caprese
Insalata Caprese à la Joe and Margaret.

Lasagne ai Quattro Formaggi
Lasagne ai Quattro Cinque Formaggi.

For the vegetabobble, I had wanted to get hold of some broccoli rabe, but there was, alas, none to be had. So I went with the next best thing: broccolini, a form of broccoli with long, slender stalks. To prepare it, I trimmed the bottom of each stem, then blanched it in boiling water for two minutes. Immediately after removing the broccolini from the boiling water, I shocked it by dumping it into ice water - this helps it retain its bright green color. About ten minutes before serving time, I took a goodly knob of butter and melted it down in a sauté pan with some olive oil. When it started foaming, I threw in some minced garlic - about four cloves’ worth. After a minute or two at medium-low heat (you do not want to scorch the garlic!), I added the broccolini and sprinkled in a little piment d’espelette (Basque red pepper). Heat through, and voilà! Ready to serve.

Broccolini
Broccolini with garlic and piment d’espelette.

Along with the food, we managed to kill a couple of bottles of wine, including a nice TBA brought out with dessert. After that, I don’t remember too much...

Friday, September 28, 2007

BEFORE AND AFTER

The Momma d’Bou, in a comment made on a prior post, requested some side-by-side Before ’n’ After shots of our renovated kitchen...and as I am an obliging sort, I am happy to provide them forthwith.

Clear the Decks
Before. [Click to embiggen.]

The Finished Product
After. [Click to embiggen.]

What’s new?
  • New sink, faucet, and soap dispenser.

    SWMBO has been dying to get a Hans Grohe kitchen faucet like the one we had in our second Connecticut house twenty years ago. This one’s an updated version in satin stainless. The sink is a Jacuzzi porcelain-on-cast iron undermount, jet black.

  • New granite counters and tumbled stone backsplashes.

    The counters are Emerald Pearl...full of beautiful reflective surfaces. And the backsplashes are a lot more visually appealing than the boring white tile that was there before.

  • New oven and microwave.

    The Kitchen Aid conventional convection/microwave convection combo replaces our old piece-of crap GE conventional/microwave. I’m looking forward to seeing how the convection feature will play out - I suspect that it will be helpful when roasting great joints of meat or when baking.

  • New dishwasher.

    Kitchen Aid, again, replacing our old GE unit. Unlike the old one, which was serviceable but noisy, this one is as quiet as a mouse pissing on a blotter. Amazing.

  • New gas cooktop.

    Like the old electric unit it replaces, “Darth Stover” is a Jenn-Air center-vent cooktop, but now we’re cookin’ with gas. And this one has a functioning vent blower. After so many years of dealing with a glasstop unit - how many of your pans are perfectly flat on the bottom? - this Bad Boy is a pleasure to work with.

  • New cabinet knobs.

    There’s no way we’re replacing the cabinets, much as I’d love to...but these knobs, satin stainless with brass trim, tie the kitchen’s various stainless and brass accents together nicely.
What’s left to do?

We still plan to replace the switchplates and outlet covers with something that is a little less...white. And there’s some minor trim that needs finishing. But aside from that, we now have a kitchen that’s much easier on the eye...and much more suited to the kind of cooking we’d like to do.

And with that, our Kitchen Saga - barring unforeseen events - is over, and I will bore you with it no more.

FRIDAY RANDOM TEN - TABERNACLES EDITION

Welcome once again to Blog d’Elisson’s Friday Random Ten, the weekly feature in which I post a selection of Choons drawn at random from the iPod d’Elisson.

It’s not only Friday today, it’s the second day of Sukkot, the Jewish Feast of Tabernacles. What is a tabernacle, anyway? You may well ask. Aside from being a favorite epithet of French Canadians (“Whoa, whoa, Tabernac!”) and Eric the Straight White Guy, it’s simply a little booth. The kind of temporary shelter in which the Israelites lived while wandering in the desert so many years ago. This week, observant Jews will take their meals in just such temporary shelters, by way of fulfilling the Biblical commandment to dwell in Sukkot: booths.

Sukkot is a happy time - Z’man Simchateinu, the season of our happiness. It has an especial resonance with me, for not only is my Hebrew name Simcha - just call me Mr. Happy - but the first day of Sukkot is my birthday, if one reckons by the Hebrew calendar. So I’ll take this opportunity to wish my Jewish readers (what are you doing, reading a blog on yontiff, anyway?) a Chag Sameach. That’s “Happy Festival” in Hebrew.

And since this is Happy Time, what can be more happy than a random assortment of ten Choons, spewed forth from that most happy of iPods? Let’s check ’em out:
  1. Whisky Train - Procol Harum

    Ain’t gonna ride that whisky train
    Ain’t gonna burn up no more flame
    Throw away my bottle down the drain
    Ain’t gonna ride that whisky train
    To think that I could be so wrong
    To be so sick and still go on
    The way I drink it’s been too long
    Don’t see much point in carrying on
    I’m gonna lose these drinking blues

    I’m gonna find a girl to make me choose
    Between lovin’ her and drinking booze
    I’m gonna lose these drinking blues
    Ain’t gonna ride that whisky train
    I’m tired of burning in the flame
    Throw away my bottle down the drain
    Ain’t gonna ride that whisky train

  2. Mr. Farmer - The Seeds
  3. I’ve Got My Mojo Working - Professor Longhair
  4. Devil In Her Heart - The Beatles
  5. Der Bosfor - The Klezmer Conservatory Band
  6. Captured - James Newton Howard, King Kong (2005)
  7. Township Rebellion - Rage Against The Machine
  8. Turn Around - They Might Be Giants
  9. Spritz!!! Spritz!!! - Minus The Bear
  10. I Want Love - Elton John
It’s Friday. What are you listening to?

AN AUTUMNAL ODE



In this near-autumn time of year,
The Harvest Festival is here.
Jews take Four Species close to hand
And wave them up and down the land.

This time of year, a Jew should tackle
The building of a Tabernacle.
A little Booth in the backyard,
Why, building it should not be hard.

With beams and joists of two-by-four,
You need three walls; don’t need a door.
The roof affords a glimpse of sky.
A Table, where you eat your Pie.

Birds might fly overhead and crap:
Just pray it don’t land in your lap.
You say a blessing, drink your wine,
And then your evening’s mighty fine.

Some cabbage, stuff’d with tasty Meat
Would be the perfect thing to eat.
All hail Sukkot, the Harvest Fest!
And let’s praise God, by whom we’re blest.

FUZZY FRIDAY

The Modulator likes to host
The Friday Ark, in which he’ll post
Links to Photos of your Cats,
Dogs and Snakes and Norway Rats.


The Friday Ark is afloat on its 158th voyage, captained by that most esteemed Modulator. This week, Matata is sitting comfortably in the fo’c’sle.

Not enough cats for you? Go and visit Life from a Cat’s Perspective Sunday evening, when Carnival of the Cats #184 will go up. Kitty fun for everyone.

Update: CotC #184 is up.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

THE SAGA OF THE HOT-BOX

Oven
Our brand spankin’ new Hot-Boxes.

Finally - finally! - we appear (kayn ayin hora) to have a Functioning Oven in our kitchen.

We’ve been without one since a week ago Monday, when the new unit (conventional convection oven on the bottom, combination microwave/convection oven on top) was installed and fried itself to a crisp within minutes.

Getting a replacement unit was more of a Pain in the Ass than we had expected or desired. Sears - the Retailer involved - kept losing the order or failing to schedule an installer. Finally, the Missus got on the horn with them - half an hour of Voicemail Hell - and told them they would either have a working oven installed the next day, or we would have them take the dead unit out and we’d replace it elsewhere.

Do not mess with SWMBO when she is Pissed Off.

Even after all of that, Sears managed to let another installer snarf our item from the warehouse. When our guy got there yesterday morning, there was no oven. So he broke a few legs and rearranged some other poor schmuck’s delivery. It meant Yet Another Day’s Delay, but without his help it would have been another ten days. Good Gawd.

I was mickle relieved when he showed up this afternoon...exactly as promised.

Watching this guy horse the old unit out and the new unit in was nerve-wracking. He knew his business, though, and between his dolly, his lift-platform, and sheer might and main, he managed just fine. The sucker weighs about 400 pounds, so this was no small feat.

And the best news is, it works like a champ! (tuh, tuh, tuh).

Now I need to bake something. Where are those cats, anyway?

The New Kitchen Stuff
The kitchen...she is feeneeshed!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

ON ROADSTERS AND IRRELEVANT INSTITUTIONS

Houston Steve gave me a lift to the Sommelier Guild event yesterday evening. It was a pleasant enough drive: the sun was shining, the sky was blue with a few puffy cumulus adrift, and the day’s warmth was beginning to diminish with the approaching dusk.

Besides all that, we were in Houston Steve’s sporty little Honda S2000. It’s a sweet ride.

Both of us suffered a pang of envy as we passed a guy driving a vintage Austin-Healey. Now, that is a roadster. Temperamental and expensive, it’s nevertheless the picture of the British sports car, with a grille that almost appears to be grinning at you, fairly dripping with Poon-Attractant. I reminisced about my Snot-Nose Days, when one of our neighbors had purchased one. I still remember the awe with which we, the neighborhood Rug-Rats, gazed upon that car. As young as we were, we all knew that there was one hot little car.

Austin-Healey
Austin-Healey 3000 Mk II, 1962 model. Hoo, boy.

On the way, we talked - among many things - about the day’s events, which included Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s visit to the U.N. By doing so, we risked spoiling our appetites...but we took that chance.

Ahh, the United Nations. It’s pretty much an irrelevant institution, given that every tinhorn idiot strongman with a country has a voice in the General Assembly. Viz: Mr. Ahmadinejad.

It’s useful to remember that the United Nations has several components. In addition to the General Assembly, there are the Security Council, the Economic and Social Council (including the IMF and the World Bank), the Secretariat, and the International Court of Justice. And, as Steve pointed out, some of those components are more useless than others.

The Security Council, with five permanent members (The United States, the U.K., France, Russia, and China) plus ten other members holding temporary seats. It’s really the part that matters, with the power to make decisions that member governments must carry out under the United Nations Charter. Given that the permanent members hold veto power and that there are typically no real consequences for violating resolutions, the Security Council never seems to be able to act decisively. Probably a good thing, on balance.

George Bush would love to see Japan added to the Security Council as a new permanent member, but it’s doubtful this will ever happen. India would be a much more likely candidate for an expanded Permanent Member roster, being the most populous democracy in the world. We’ll see what happens.

And then you have the General Assembly, composed of 192 member states as of this writing. With each state, no matter how thinly populated or stupidly governed, having the same one vote, it’s easy to see how useless this organization can become. Since resolutions of the General Assembly aren’t binding on the member states, it’s mostly a harmless echo chamber. “What about restricting membership to states with a democratically elected form of government?” I suggested. Steve responded that there would be little purpose in having a United Democratic Nations in which everybody would pretty much agree with one another...and I had to concede that he had a point.

The U.N. Human Rights Council? Now, there’s a joke for you. Never mind that the membership includes a number of states with (ahem) less-than-stellar human rights records - Cuba and Saudi Arabia leap to mind - the real joke is that only resolutions condemning Israel ever seem to emanate from the Council. That’s right: the only country in the Middle East offering any semblance of human rights. Never a single word about, say, North Korea. Or Afghanistan under the Taliban. Or Sudan. What a bunch of fucking hypocrites.

Houston Steve may have said it best. With the United Nations, as with any other prophylactic, the only way to test its effectiveness is to count its failures.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

FAREWELL, COUSIN PEARL

Cousin Pearl
Cousin Pearl with her grandson Jason, 2002.

I got the sad news Sunday that Cousin Pearl passed away after a lengthy struggle with kidney disease. After a while, the dialysis just couldn’t do the trick, it seems.

Pearl, pictured here with her grandson Jason, was the Momma d’Elisson’s first cousin...making her a first cousin once-removed to me.

Take a look at that picture. Get a load of that infectious smile. That was Pearl. She was one of those rare individuals who could light up a room simply by walking into it, vivacious and full of warmth. Maybe that’s just what I saw from a distance, but it was a pretty solid impression, one that was shared by just about anybody that came in contact with her. In that respect, she reminded me a lot of my own mother, who, not surprisingly, adored Pearl.

I remember that at the Mistress of Sarcasm’s Bat Mitzvah, Pearl was out there on the dance floor, having the time of her life. No wallflower, she.

Pearl’s husband Jack, with whom she had two sons, passed away a number of years ago. Here was a case of a couple who exemplified the adage “Opposites Attract,” for Jack was morose while Pearl was effervescent. But they clearly shared something very special.

Alas, I will miss Pearl. But I suspect that some of my sense of humor has come down unto me from my maternal great-grandparents, Pearl’s very grandparents, and so I will happily keep that mutually-shared spark of soul alive within me.

Ave atque vale, Pearlie. Show them seraphim how to kick the gong around.

SEPTEMBER GUILD FUNCTION

All of us poor, suffering Sommelier Guild members will have to choke down yet another winey dinner this evening. Except for Denny, the Grouchy One hizzownself, who is torturing himself by scuba diving in Bonaire this week. Poor guy.

But I’ll be there with Houston Steve...and perhaps I’ll be able to find out from Mike W- what life was like “behind the scenes” at the recent PGA Tour Championship.

Here’s the menu:

Speaker’s wine
Marques de Galinda Brut 2003

First flight
Txomin Etxaniz 2005
Blanco Nieva Verdejo 2005
Don Olegario Albarino 2005

House salad with seasoned shrimp

Second flight
Faustino I Gran Reserva 1996
Marques de Arienzo Gran Reserva 1996
Finca Allende Tempranillo Allende 2004

Empanadas de picadillo

Third Flight
Torres Mas La Plana Black Label 2001
Scala Dei Cartoixa 2003
Pesquera Tempranillo 2004

Pork tenderloin served with brown sauce and roasted potatoes

Dessert
Alvear Pedro Ximenez Solera 1927

Tres leches cake Flan de vainilla

Alas, there will not be a Grits Bar...

Wedding Grits
Grits from the Grits Bar, Atlanta Athletic Club.

ILLUMINATION

Illumination
Matata relaxes in the sunroom.

The afternoon light streaming through the sunroom windows catches Matata’s ears, setting them aglow.

Monday, September 24, 2007

PEACHY

Of all the fruits that Man may eat
When placed within his reach,
One I abhor yet more and more
Is the loathsome Spanish Peach.

I hate its sweetly blushing skin
Bedecked with nasty fuzz.
I hate its taste - like human waste!
No fouler fruit there was.

The apple, grape, or apricot
Ne’er fail to make me smile,
But my guts wrench when I sense the stench
Of that Durazno Vile.

FAREWELL, MARCEL: A 100-WORD OBITUARY

Marcel Marceau, the incomparable French mime, passed away September 22 at the age of eighty-four.

Marceau (né Mangel), a French Jew who escaped the Nazis and fought with the Free French during World War II, brought the art of mime to standing-room-only crowds, earning worldwide acclaim. His waif-like character Bip, in part inspired by Chaplin’s Little Tramp, was recognizable to millions.

In addition to founding the Colorado School of Mimes, Marceau was the model for Michael Jackson’s “moonwalk,” based on Marceau’s “Walking in the Wind” sketch.

Today, to honor Marceau’s memory, fans everywhere will observe a moment of extreme noise.

A GOOD RIBBING

The Missus and I spent a completely lazy day yesterday loafing around the house. Aside from a few minor tasks, it was pure Wastrel Time. A good way to decompress after Yom Kippur.

For dinner, I grilled some Korean-style beef short ribs. I’ve been on a Ribby Tear lately, making one variation or another of this recipe at least once a week. She Who Must Be Obeyed will be heartily sick of it if I continue.

The benefit of this recipe is that it can - in fact, it must - be cooked on the grill. And since we’re still without a functioning oven, that limits our options considerably.

Last week I used flanken-style ribs for this, and they were delicious. This week, I got some short ribs, trimmed the meat off the bone, removed the excess fat and silverskin, and pounded each piece down to a ¼-inch thickness.

For the marinade, you’ll need:

3 scallions
6 cloves of garlic, peeled
½ cup soy sauce (I used ¼ cup Kikkoman low-sodium soy sauce and ¼ cup Tabasco soy sauce)
1 tbsp rice vinegar
2 tbsp toasted sesame seed oil (the seeds are toasted, not the oil, Emeril!)
6 tbsp sugar
1 ripe pear
1 thumb-sized chunk of fresh ginger, peeled
You can add a generous squirt of hot chile-infused sesame oil or a dash of red pepper flakes, if you like ’em spicy. I used the hot oil, and it was just right.

Peel and core out the pear and cut into quarters. Place in the work bowl of a food processor. Add the garlic, ginger, sugar, vinegar, sesame oil, and soy sauce. Process until smooth. Chop the scallions into ¼-inch chunks and add to the marinade. Place the meat and the marinade in a large zip-lock bag and stick it in the fridge for at least four hours...or overnight. Make sure you move the meat around periodically so all of it is exposed to the marinade.

Heat up your grill and grill the meat until nicely charred on the outside and done the way you like it, turning several times. Purists will use lump charcoal...I used my gas grill.

You can serve this with lettuce leaves, wrapping each chunk of meat to make a Korean-style Meat-Taco, or you can just throw it on a plate. Kimchi makes a great accompaniment, although we did not, alas, have any kimchi in the house. Wash down with cold beer.

Rib-a-licious!

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